Whatever You Do, Don’t Write About Hamsters

I am in the midst of a long weekend at the moment, and, with nothing in particular planned, I’ve been spending much of my time reading my way through Blogsylvania. The emerging trend this weekend is posts that begin with a pledge to NOT write about Hurricane Katrina, because, frankly, enough already. And then these bloggers perversely go on to write another 500+ words about that very topic. I guess it’s abuse when other people flog a dead horse but a humane attempt at euthanasia when these bloggers do the same.

So I am not going to write about Hurricane Katrina. Instead, I’m going to write about hamsters!

Okay, not really. I’ve inflicted enough Hamster related nonsense on you to last a life time (or at least a couple of more weeks), so I will show rare self-restraint and NOT write about hamsters.

Now, having made the above statement, I am free to write on about hamsters. I think that’s the way this works based on my recent survey.

Luckily, I really don’t have all that much to say about hamsters at the moment. I just wanted to share one piece of trivia with you that Herb and I discovered in a library book that I forced him at gunpoint to read with me when it became tragically clear that a hamster was in our future (Herbie doesn’t read recreationally; only under extreme duress can he be persuaded to pick up a book). And that piece of trivia is this:

Did you know that, if given access to an exercise wheel, a hamster can run up to two miles a night? Seriously, two miles!

Here’s what I want to know: How can anything four inches long and built like a potato run two miles in a single night? I myself have a much broader wingspan than any hamster, and you won’t find me running any two miles—at least not voluntarily.

Just another one of the animal kingdom’s enduring mysteries….

(Illustration swiped from Jim Gordon)

7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dave
    Sep 19, 2005 @ 01:22:00

    Why not get a sugar glider instead?


  2. OldHorsetailSnake
    Sep 19, 2005 @ 10:06:00

    Hook that dude up to a generator and feed the power back to the electric company. Might be good for 5 cents off your bill every evening.


  3. Jona
    Sep 19, 2005 @ 11:03:00

    So if you generously gave him his freedom and put him outside the front door one night, he could be two miles away in any direction before anyone woke up and noticed?!(Only joking, I promise ;o))


  4. Danger Panda
    Sep 19, 2005 @ 11:53:00

    Dave, The rule of thumb is that if you spent more on the cage than the animal occupying it, you have to endure fewer tears when the animal finally succeeds in committing suicide. I think the price of a sugar glider means I'd have to take out some sort of life insurance policy on it.Debi–you, however, are on to something!


  5. Phil
    Sep 19, 2005 @ 12:09:00

    May I just say how unbelievably gorgeous your blog heading is. I'm sure it didn't look that nice last time I was here. Which probably just proves how infrequently I visit.Suffice it to say I'm jealous, and I may have to kill you.Oh, and I have nothing to say about hamsters, but I do know someone who once killed a gerbil by dropping a fridge on it.


  6. FTS
    Sep 19, 2005 @ 17:14:00

    I'm wondering how long it will be before you call a hamster hit-man. 😉


  7. Danger Panda
    Sep 19, 2005 @ 20:52:00

    Phil,Thanks for stopping by. Yes, it is a new heading. I wish I could claim I did it myself, but I'm not that talented (so no need to kill me). As for the rodents, and gerbil who is out and about where a refrigerator might fall on it deserves what it gets. Getting rid of varmits by that method's not murder, just good housekeeping.FTS, I would never hire a hitman. They typical hamster life span is about two years (another trivia fact from the book). I can wait it out, I'm sure.


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