Right Now in my House…

…I have:

4 cats
3 kids
2 carpet layers
1 dog with diarrhea

The next time I buy carpet, remind me to check the school calendar so that the little heathens will at least be occupied elsewhere. The cats are fairly happy to be closed up in my bedroom for the day. And the dog? Clearly her present condition is some sort of karmic retribution for some unspeakable act that I can’t even remember performing. I swear to god, if she lives through her digestive distress I may have to kill her anyway. All the way dead.

What sort of God gives you brand new carpet and a 75-pound dog who can’t control her bowels–on exactly the same day?

I don’t think I told you guys yet, but the State of Washington sent me a shiny new teaching certificate. For the past month I’ve been substituting for my local school district. This, coupled with my work-at-home paralegal position, means that I’ve been working nearly full time for the past month. I don’t know how some of you do it, seriously. I’m spent. But at least I can afford a couple of rooms’ worth of new carpet (and maybe even some doggy Peptobismol…).

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Albert
    Feb 17, 2009 @ 07:50:00

    "Shit" happens always at the wrong moment! So sorry for the new carpet!

    Reply

  2. Danger Panda
    Feb 17, 2009 @ 13:13:00

    So far the new carpet has been safe. The dog did put her "stamp" on the old one just before the big men arrived to rip it out. I guess it was good timing in that respect!

    Reply

  3. JoJo
    Feb 17, 2009 @ 14:12:00

    I hope your doggie will be feeling better soon. Congrats on the teachers' cert though!! šŸ˜€

    Reply

  4. Op
    Feb 17, 2009 @ 14:39:00

    CONGRATS KJ! I am glad the teaching gig is going again! All the best with the new job, new carpet…. Miss you honey!

    Reply

  5. Margaret
    Feb 17, 2009 @ 18:11:00

    So, that's where you've been! Any interesting/wacky stories from the subbing world? The dog MUST refrain from soiling your new carpet. New rugs are sacred!!

    Reply

  6. FirstNations
    Feb 25, 2009 @ 17:57:00

    congratulations on the teaching cert!as for the dog…it works for people, and it works on dogs. what do i mean? RITZ CRACKERS. feed puppy a couple of tubes of those. acts just like a cork. word to yo momma.

    Reply

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